I floss only for the week before and the week following a dental appointment.
I use google "check" or word "thesaurus" when I think I have the right word, but I'm not sure.
I pretend I'm the lead in any musical I'm currently obsessed with. And sing loudly and often.
I'll be shocked if I ever get around to making a single thing I have "pinned". (Pintrest is the biggest timesuck of my life. Which is saying alot, since, ya know, I went to law school.)
I'm in a fake relationship with a celebrity.
I can't figure out how everyone around me is getting pregnant at roughly the same time.
I have fear of missing out. So, I go to lunch with my friends every time I'm invited instead of eating what I packed to save money.
I paint my nails so that I can pretend I'm fashionable and trendy. Consequently, they are yellow so the cycle perpetuates itself.
I can't figure out how to clean up my google reader because I don't understand the new google reader.
I "see" myself approximately 50lbs heavier than I am.
I let my dogs poop in the neighbors yard when I know they aren't looking. I justify it by pretending they do the same to me.
I fake productivity by writing lists.
The happiness I get when someone comments/posts/likes something I did on facebook borders on embarrassing.
I record shows I know damn well I'll never actually watch and/or catch up to (I'm looking at you, Letterman, John Stewart and Ellen.)
I really want to buy a fun, glittery, slightly revealing dress for the holidays and/or new years eve, but I know that the reality of my holidays and/or new years eve involve more sweat pants and nachos than a fun, glittery, slightly revealing dress can handle.
I'm personally offended at the Kim K divorce after being subjected to years of that terrible reality show - which I never even watched.
I wish my DVR had a "play all" and automatic fast forward through commercials feature.
I sincerely hope that the Prince and Princess are preggo.
I have slippers and a blanket at my desk.
I'm in denial about the age of my pets, which concerns me about my reaction to potential future spawn. And, also, myself.
I've never had a twinkie.
I like my job more than I'm willing to admit :)