Please tell me I'm not the only one

I floss only for the week before and the week following a dental appointment.

I use google "check" or word "thesaurus" when I think I have the right word, but I'm not sure.

I pretend I'm the lead in any musical I'm currently obsessed with.  And sing loudly and often.

I'll be shocked if I ever get around to making a single thing I have "pinned".  (Pintrest is the biggest timesuck of my life.  Which is saying alot, since, ya know, I went to law school.)

I'm in a fake relationship with a celebrity.

I can't figure out how everyone around me is getting pregnant at roughly the same time.

I have fear of missing out. So, I go to lunch with my friends every time I'm invited instead of eating what I packed to save money.

I paint my nails so that I can pretend I'm fashionable and trendy.  Consequently, they are yellow so the cycle perpetuates itself.

I can't figure out how to clean up my google reader because I don't understand the new google reader.

I "see" myself approximately 50lbs heavier than I am.

I let my dogs poop in the neighbors yard when I know they aren't looking. I justify it by pretending they do the same to me.

I fake productivity by writing lists.

The happiness I get when someone comments/posts/likes something I did on facebook borders on embarrassing.

I record shows I know damn well I'll never actually watch and/or catch up to (I'm looking at you, Letterman, John Stewart and Ellen.)

 I really want to buy a fun, glittery, slightly revealing dress for the holidays and/or new years eve, but I know that the reality of my holidays and/or new years eve involve more sweat pants and nachos than a fun, glittery, slightly revealing dress can handle.

I'm personally offended at the Kim K divorce after being subjected to years of that terrible reality show - which I never even watched.

I wish my DVR had a "play all" and automatic fast forward through commercials feature.

I sincerely hope that the Prince and Princess are preggo.

I have slippers and a blanket at my desk.

I'm in denial about the age of my pets, which concerns me about my reaction to potential future spawn.  And, also, myself.

I've never had a twinkie.

I like my job more than I'm willing to admit  :)